Prankstradamis Day
by Offin
Summary: A national holiday, and his (once) faithful soldier catches Yuuri off-guard. Silly one-shot with implied Conyuu, Conrad x Yuuri, Wolfram and Yozak are here too! Rated T for sexual themes.


It was just another day in Shin Makoku when Conrad entered Yuuri's office, carrying a small tray of snacks. Yuuri looked up, relief and happiness spread across his face until his eyes met with the top of Conrad's head and his jaw fell slack. Conrad's beautiful chocolate brown locks were bright, ugly, _pink._

"C-conrad?" Yuuri said, but the man didn't miss a beat, his face was smiling as usual as he set the tray down on Yuuri's desk.

"Good evening your majesty," Yuuri could practically hear the silly smile in Conrad's voice, "I thought I would bring you some snacks to keep you going until our game of catch."

"Thank you, but Conrad.. what happened to your hair!?" Yuuri said, he winced unable to control the pitch of his voice.

"Whatever do you mean, your majesty?" Conrad said, standing straight, his hand coming to rest on the top of his head. His face was dead serious.

"Uh, well _why is it pink?_ "

"I have no idea what you're talking about your majesty." Conrad said, smiling at Yuuri, "Please, have some tea."

Yuuri shook his head, unable to understand Conrad's change in behavior but reached for the small tea pot anyway and opened the lid to see what kind of tea it was when...

He screamed- SOMETHING flew out of the pot and onto Yuuri's face. Conrad did nothing while his king flailed about, waving his arms and screeching. Finally Yuuri grabbed it and threw it at Conrad who laughed and caught it gently.

"WHAT WAS THAT?!" Yuuri said, heaving breaths while hiding behind his office chair.

"It's just a fake spider."

"IT **FLEW!** "

"Please don't raise your voice, your majesty." the mirth in Conrad's eyes was impossible to miss.

"Conrad!" Yuuri whined, "How could you do that to a fragile youth like me!? I hate spiders!"

"I deeply apologize on the chef's behalf." Conrad said, scrunching his eyes up and smiling, a gesture Yuuri use to think looked cute but right now it just looked cruel.

"Yeah, yeah and why IS your hair pink anyway!?"

"Majesty?"

"AUGH. Conrad- NEVERMIND." Yuuri said, his face glowing red. He then let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and plopped down at his desk.

"I'll be taking my leave until later your majesty, keep up the excellent work." He then smiled, bowed, (still holding the fake spider gently in one hand, in such a way that it looked real..) turned on his heel and left with a click of the door shutting behind him.

Yuuri grumbled, picked up another paper and began to glance at it while picking up a cookie, and taking a bite.

When he spit the cookie out because that wasn't jam filling! Instead he had tasted a.. a fake, plastic? (In Shin Makoku?) Cockroach.

The chef, Yuuri knew, was not responsible.

Later that evening he met Conrad in the courtyard for their game of catch.

Yuuri watched as Conrad put on his glove and sighed, noting that his hair was still pink. Other than that however, everything else was fine. His uniform was crisp, even after wearing it all day, his posture was perfect, and his movements were graceful as always. Nothing indicated he was distressed or disturbed by his new hair color. Yuuri wondered if Conrad really knew it was pink or not.

Then their game began and Yuuri relaxed a little. This he enjoyed; regardless of what was happening.

He could stare at Conrad and not feel weird like he was looking for too long, he could watch the man's hips as they swayed slightly with every throw, he could watch Conrad's eyes which, even in the fading light, still shone brightly, their silver specks dancing and swaying in a hypnotizing pattern.

Yuuri also, with a blush, admitted to himself that he liked to watch Conrad's legs- well, more like his upper thighs. They moved gracefully turning and tensing and relaxing leaving Yuuri slightly out of breath. Why did this always have to happen when he stared at Conrad for too long?

Suddenly he felt something slithering up his pant-leg, wrapping and coiling and for the second time in one day, Yuuri screamed.

This caused Yuuri to throw the ball awkwardly, into a line of trees where a certain blonde ex-prince was hiding, watching them. Yuuri danced about screaming and shaking his pants until the creature- a snake- lazily slithered back out of his pant-leg.

Yuuri collapsed onto the ground, panting.

Somewhere nearby, he heard chuckling.

He turned to scream at Conrad- something he had never done before out of anger- when he noticed Conrad wasn't laughing, in fact- he wasn't even there. He was over rummaging through the bushes for some reason.

Instead Yuuri spotted a certain red haired spy chuckling in the bushes next to him, he stood up and stormed over, pushing the bushes apart.

"Yozak!" Yuuri yelled, "Did you-!?"

"Hey Bochan!" Yozak laughed, "You should have seen how you danced! Your grace would have brought tears to Gunter's eyes!"

"Yozak! Why did you do that! I could have been bitten or- something!"

Yozak just smiled and shook his head, "No your majesty, it wasn't poisonous, or vicious." he winked "I just thought your own 'trouser snake' was getting lonely." Yuuri sat aghast, his face turning bright red- he didn't know it was noticeable!

"YUURI YOU STUPID WIMP!" uh-oh.

Wolfram, who had been hiding in the bushes on the other side of the courtyard until he was hit by Yuuri's awkward throw- now stormed over to the young king and shook him violently.

"Wolfram! Stop!" Yuuri winced, trying to pull away,

"YOU COULD HAVE KILLED ME YOU INSENSIBLE LOUT!"

"I'm glad to see everyone is alright." Conrad said, appearing next to Yuuri, who tried to use Conrad as a shield.

"Ah, Captain, I see your hair dye still hasn't washed out. That's a shame." Yozak grinned cheekily as he stepped out of the bushes, brushing stray leaves off himself.

"Yozak..." Conrad growled, his face slightly irritated. Wolfram stopped shaking Yuuri to rub his throbbing skull.

"Oh you mean you noticed it too?" Yuuri said to Yozak, gesturing to Conrad. This caused a burst of laughter to escape Yozak.

"I put it there bochan!" Yozak said, still laughing.

"WHAT?!" And all this time he had thought Conrad had lost it! Or that he himself had lost it- "Then what was with the spider?! And this!" Yuuri exclaimed, pulling the plastic cockroach out of his pocket, and stuffing it in front of Conrad's face.

"Happy Prankstradamis day, Yuuri."

"What, huh?" Yuuri said, lowering the cockroach a bit, confusion thick in his eyes.

"I thought Gunter told you about it-"

"I hardly listen to Gunter!" Conrad cringed; poor Gunter. "You mean this is- what is it? Prank day?!"

"Prankstradamis day, to be exact." Conrad said, taking the plastic cockroach from Yuuri and placing it in his pocket. "It's held in the honor of a duke who long ago bore the name Prankstradamis. He use to hold grand parties year round just so he could trick and scare his guests. The story goes that he went too far one time and his guests rose up and.. well.. did away with him. However, they felt sorry afterward and decided to dedicate this day to his memory."

"I forgot this year as well.." Wolfram grumbled, still rubbing his head.

"AAAGH! And here I thought- never mind!" Yuuri gave up, eying Yozak, who under closer inspection- seemed to have no eyebrows- or eyelashes for that matter.. In fact- he looked hairless. Was that a wig he was wearing?

"I'm just glad your hair isn't going to stay that way, Conrad." Yuuri said with relief, noting Conrad's amused smile.

"What about me you idiot?!" Wolfram seethed, _"You hit me with a baseball and you're worried about his hair!?"_

The sound of their bickering faded into the distance as the two headed inside, leaving Conrad and Yozak alone in the courtyard.

"Your trouser snake is looking quite lonely as well, taicho." the redhead winked.

Conrad quickly changed the subject.

"Did it hurt when you voluntarily waxed your eyebrows and chest? I hear that kind of thing burns. It's so odd you'd willingly wax off all of your body hair."

Yozak frowned, remembering waking up with wax strips stuck all over himself. "Don't worry, captain, I'll get you back for that."


End file.
